Wealth Is Intense

istock_000002618047medium According to Robert Frank's September 30th entry in the Wall Street Journal Wealth Blog, a Prince and Associates Survey reports "81% of investors with $1 million or more investible assets plan to take money away from their current advisor. An even larger number - 86% -- plan to tell other investors to avoid their advisor." What's going on?

Stress creates strain, which tears plans and relationships apart at the weak spots. Advisors who do not have their clients' solid trust are at risk of losing them in this anxious market.

Anxiety is a particular cocktail of emotions: fear, helplessness, and anger. Add an undercurrent of speed. When anxious, the person or system feels an urgency to FIX or CHANGE whatever they perceive as making them anxious. Right now, people on all sides of our current financial crisis are in a "reactive" mode -- making speedy decisions to fix what's broken. Quick decision-making is risky. When in a reactive mode we often treat symptoms and completely miss the root cause.

So, let's take two steps back for a wide-angle view of the situation. The way we imagine wealth sabotages or strengthens trust in the advisor/client relationship.

Getting rich is the American Dream, right? Wealth frees us the common financial struggles: mortgages, education, healthcare, retirement. Yet, we need to be thorough in this mental game. Wealth has an irrational halo; we have an underlying fantasy that wealth frees us from the curses of being human: granting health, beauty, power, wisdom and love. Our idea of wealth as freedom is like a red helium balloon floating high above the field of human suffering. The breeze is gentle, the balloon sails gracefully, undisturbed among the birds and beautiful trees. This "freedom" fantasy can mask the reality that wealth brings intensity. The word intensity comes from the Latin intensus, which means stretched tightly, or strained.

Now we see the balloon differently. The helium filled interior is stretched to capacity making the skin vulnerable to explosion. The breeze may be gentle, the trees and birds beautiful, but because of the stress within the balloon, these external events are now potential threats. The balloon and the backdrop are equally free in both scenarios. Yet the intense internal pressure profoundly alters the experience.

Attending to a wealthy client's financial needs is front and center, but, underneath the financial conversation is a human being with depth and emotion. Wealth intensifies that emotion, and also intensifies the potential for mistrust in relationships. If a client does not feel heard, they retreat within. The advisor/client relationship shrinks to the level of transaction. Eventually the energy dissipates and the relationship becomes hollow and empty - or worse it becomes hostile. Then in times of financial stress, the relationship can easily fall apart.

As a wealth advisor your future depends on building trust with your clients. If you remain unswayed by your own internal judgments and agendas, ask the right questions, and practice attentive waiting, the client will guide you to their true financial needs and desires.

"I know what's happening," an advisor said to me yesterday. "The clients who are jumping ship? I stopped listening. It's so simple, but it's not always easy. Building trust is just as important as being smart."

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Gary Shunk is a Consultant to Families of Wealth and the Advisors who serve them. His primary mission is to help integrate wealth, character and calling. He is based out of Chicago, Illinois. His website is: http://www.wealth-psychology.com .

Megan Wells is a writer and communications expert. She utilizes writing and storytelling for leadership, creativity and innovation. She works out of Chicago and her website is www.meganwells.com

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