When “stuff happens,” is it “just life” or should someone voluntarily write a check? Or should the aggrieved party simply suck it up?

These are tricky times. Although money is ubiquitous, its etiquette is far from being completely set. This quick-reading book by Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz makes a solid run at defining the issues and providing guidelines.

Tackling a panoply of “friends and family” questions familiar to most of us, Fleming and Schwarz take a no-nonsense approach of equity, thoughtfulness, practicality and good, old-fashioned communication. They think ownership counts and that borrowers should accept primary responsibilities for the risks inherent to possession. Their approaches are likely to disappoint moochers, users and abusers but they should please authentic adults with a taste for simple justice.

For those who might disagree with the authors’ approach, they thoughtfully provide substantial amounts of useful survey data. You can see how many folks agree or disagree with you on particular circumstances. This helps define the issues while listing the alternatives. They will also give you a notion of the complexities of money etiquette.

It is especially recommended for those who need a bit of spine stiffening with respect to greedy relatives, avaricious co-workers or thoughtless friends. Perhaps most importantly, it will either give you pause to check your own money manners or it will assure you that you are not the only one.

© 2008 Richard B. Wagner. Reprinted with permission.